In my time

Tonight someone asked me why I named this blog "In the Time of the Butterfly" I hadn't told this story in a long while so it was wonderful to share it again. Now I want to share it here, because, well I never had before!

When I was little, 6 or 7, I went to a Christian camp and I was in question about God's existence and purpose in my life. I asked him to show Himself to me. Not in a prayer, nothing special, just a quick word right outside my cabin. The next morning I got up and outside on a stump lied a monarch butterfly wing. Not a butterfly, but a single wing. So I picked it up and as I walk back to my cabin I talked to God a bit. At the end of that week I had accepted Jesus into my heart. That wing was tucked away in my bible for safe keeping.
Years went by and I was 13, at another camp up in Muskoka, ON. I was having a tough year and I felt cut off from God, like I had eliminated our relationship and I hated that. I became close with a leader up there and one night she told me to flip through the book of Psalms and read them as if they were my own prayers. I opened this book that I hadn't read in ages and there was that wing, still beautiful and bright orange. Next to the wing was Psalm 46:1-4...

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells". 

I felt goose bumps, and more then that, I felt God, and in everyday following. Life didn't suddenly become a fairy tale with a wonderful unrealistic perspective, but it became my story with Abba. It became a life of seeing Him. Even in hurt, I didn't shy away from talking to Him. Even in beauty, I didn't hold it higher then Jesus. And after that I saw this theme all around me. When my friends at camp prayed for me they'd say to God to make me like a butterfly and fly far above this world and chaos and just be near to Him. When I went back to school, a teacher nicknamed me papillon, which is french for butterfly. she said it reminded her of me, and the freeing spirit of this creature. My name means small bird. I've always liked that.

These precious messages and stories that form together, show me that He listens and He cares. They're my story, it's a part of who I am and in this time frame of life. In the time of a person who is now looking for her Father and a person who is sharing this with others as I feel compelled to. Trying to live in this world, but not be of this world. In the time of experiences, in the time of challenges and imperfection, I feel still as this broken butterfly wing. To one day beyond this life be with the rest of me that is beautiful and perfect. 'In the Time of the Butterfly' is my story now. Trying to work out who this God fellow is and trying to fathom all great things He shows me!

folding hands

"Is any among you afflicted? Let him pray. Is any merry? Let him sing psalms."  {James 5:13}

Prayer is for a lifetime. An eternity in conversation to the Lord. It allows us to approach God in our words. To step forward and plead our case to Him. Through our moments of prayer we are giving Him thanksgiving, adoration, cries for help, and the acceptance of Him as our grace and enduring God. It is our worship, a time to praise our Father and look to receive what He has to give unto us.
Some people don't know how to pray, what is right and wrong? If there is even a distinction? I wouldn't know. I scream at Him some days, cry to Him begging for peace, others. I also rejoice in His life in me. I dance in prayer in the presence of Him. I sound quite crazy at times, up in my room talking to myself. Talking to Him for hours on end as if He is there physically and responding in words for a human ear to behold. I hear Him in my life, my everyday. My attempts at living a peace filled, giving, perfect life always crumble so there is much need to pray. God's instruction for prayer was written in the book of Matthew.

"And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."  {6:5-6}

 It was instructions, a hint of how to connect to Him through such a personal way. And even the Son found a great satisfaction in prayer. He needed this time to reconnect and call to His Father for help and guidance. He set this example for His disciples and now for us.

"But He would withdraw to desolate places and pray."  {Luke 5:16}

 And God longs for this time when we rest in Him and ask for words to say to others or our own conversations with Him. He wants us to throw our pride aside and with folding hands, open hands, waving hands and angry fists, come to Him and lay down all that is on our hearts at His feet. He will always prevail and work everything out for the good. When we rely on the grace of God fully, He will look at our circumstances and with love sort them out.

Abide with me

"Let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, so that those who love your name may exalt in you."  {Psalm 5:11}

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;

The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide;

When other helpers fail and comforts flee,

help of the helpless, oh, abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;

Earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away;

Change and decay in all around I see-

O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour;

What but Thy grace can foil the tempter's pow'r?

Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?

Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with at hand to bless;

Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness;

Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory?

I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;

Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies;

Heav'n's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;

In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me. 

Henry F. Lyte

Rising fog

This weekend I went up to my cottage with my friend Breanna. The weather was yucky, the fog was thick, the slush was slushy and our laughter grew over these couple days.

My dad put the "snow tires" on our avt and I thought that meant we could drive on the snow! I learnt rather quickly that it is much harder then pressing down on the gas and steering through. We ended up walking to the lake. It was worth it, so peaceful.
The two of us giggled as we tried to maneuver through the deep snow, sliding and tripping along the way.

Mum suggested we get out the toboggans and slide down the snow hill. Key word is snow, and we had very little of it, but we coasted down and smashed into this stump waiting at the bottom.

reflections can show a deeper glance at beauty

ready to take on the world

Me and Jessie snuggling

We made art today.

You're made in the image of He who is most beautiful and great!

it rained and rained and the entire earth rejoiced

I love this girl.

A.M. bedtimes, road trips, yummy food, so many board games, ice cream? friendship building, brushing teeth, painting and crafts, funny faces, lake walking, snow banking, fog driving, slow travel, great memories!

I can't take much more of this!!!

Come Close

This is a prayer/poem written by Laura Woodley. I often lay in bed, coasting asleep to prayers like this. By accident I put this one on repeat so I fell asleep and woke up to it, but within those eight hours I remembered the italicized lines and they stuck with me this day.

I was not worthy of You
Oh, but you made me clean
You washed me, you took away my shame
You gave me, all your right standings
All your righteousness
You made me white as snow
And you invited me to come close to you,
And so I come Jesus                                                                                                          Not in my works, not in my deeds,
By your invitation, I accept You, God                                                                                    I accept you, for all that you are,
I accept your mercy Father,
I accept your grace,

Jesus,
There's no more shame
There are no more stains
All because of You,
I come before You God,
I'm grateful,
I am your servant,
I am your child,
And all because you want me God, I come.
I want You.
More then anything I want you
More then anyone I want you God.

And God forgive me for the times, that I have forgotten you,
Or wandered away.
Thank you for rescuing me
Thank you for coming
Thank you that you did not give up,
Or throw me aside
Thank you for your faithfulness and your mercy that is new every morning
Nobody else is like that God, only You.
I come to you in joy,
I run into your arms,
I smile at you God,
I know You smile at me,
Let's be together Lord.

Success Principals {exams}

In just over a week I will be handed my formal exams! Man o man, the presser is on. I am sure all of you have struggled with the studying before hand, the cramming, and the late nights. Over my three years in high school I have come up with some strategies to survive this hectic time. This is what I would suggest to the student body!

When on the computer, turn off Facebook. It is the biggest distraction EVER!
Find a comfy spot to sit and study. Not too comfortable though! You don't want to fall asleep.
Have a snack with you that only requires one hand so you can still work a pencil.
Make a study playlist, don't bother with YouTube, it wastes time searching up each song.
Put your phone on silent, is it ever really that urgent?!
Set a time limit for yourself so you have something to work towards.
Take time to stretch your body, it's a mental marathon...
Have a pee break. 

Drink 20 Arizona Iced teas to stay awake.

Dress for success: sweats, hoodies, camp bun head, Buff !
For the dog owners out there: don't leave your notes lying about.
Make sure in the week before exams, you still remember to shower.
Since you will be doing tons of reading and writing, I wouldn't use leisure time for reading and journalism.
Don't get frustrated with your mum....when she comes into your almost focused environment to ask you trivial questions, remember, she means well!
Eat spinach. It worked for Popeye.
Read stuff out load, it helps you remember info. 

And also, I usually freak out on the morning of the exam.....So for those uneasy times.

Getting up is the first step.
Eat something with a balance of sugar and carbs. Don't worry, you'll sweat it off in the examination room.
Wear your bed to school. 

Take a Tylenol ahead of time for the headache you will get half way through the test without it. 

All this and many more...it's one of those learn as you go things. Fun experiences of life.
Good luck and May the force be with you. 

taking a time out.

There's not a day that goes by, I don't think, when I haven't said to someone, "I got to go and be with Jesus for a while." And I was thinking about this quite a bit and then a friend of mine shared with me how this sort of sounds a little odd. Jesus is everywhere, He is around all day and all time, so why say you need time with Him? And I just said that I don't really have any other name to call this! I just say it so that others are aware that I am unavailable, giving a quick and good reason. I crave this one-on-one time to put every bit of focus on my Holy Dad for a few minutes, or hours. I feel called to take a time out from everything worldly and just be with Abba.
I know that God is everywhere in my life. I see this so much and so I know it is true, but I feel all those other times it is God calling to me and asking for me and for my attention. He is working in me.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." {Jeremiah 33:3}

So I take some personal time to call back to Him and invite Him in this place. To give thanks or rejoice in a victory. To ask for forgiveness or just giggle like a child. On my little rooftop, in my sanctuary, on a hiking trail or just in a church parking lot. It is recognition, I am telling God that He is important to me and He is center in my life and definitively worth these 10 minutes, or 4 hours that I am calling for Him. To join with me in worship or dancing or reading scripture. I am sitting down or running around celebrating and receiving all that He is telling me the rest of the time, when I am not timing out from everything. God has a relationship with us. And it needs time like this. To find something that works in ones life to give praise back to the Lord. Maybe entirely different from what I am describing, but something that one is knowingly doing for or with God. I like how I am able to listen for God and know when I should go and be with Him. Saying it out load to others I am talking with makes me feel like I am exampling to them something that perhaps Abba wants with them also. Something to look out for. Hey! God has a great plan and these unsearchable things could use for a good time out...

It finally snowed.....

Duffins Creek has almost frozen over. 

After the long wait for frost and chilly mornings and embracing the bitter Canadian winter, it finally came! In all it's glory, the snow and ice has arrived. I have gone hiking so much in these past few days.

I was really excited and tried to be so optimistic for the whole white Christmas thing, but better late then never!

I took my camera out of its toasty case and the lens fogged over. 

The snow was just drawn to me. 

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you...