cannot keep you

This is just my opinion and it is an opinion that is messy and unfinished and still on it's own journey, so bare with me.

I do not understand the bible. I do not understand the church. I do not understand a rosary. I do not understand the temple. I do not understand the cross necklace which lies around my neck.
I do not understand these things, because they seem at times like they are constricting Christ. Like if one does not hold onto a rosary while praying then their prays are not heard! Why would I worship my Lord in a temple where other idols were kept? The bible tries at times to box Him in ( and when I say this, I mean that personally after reading my Bible I have this uncomfortable satisfaction that I am done with Abba for the day! ).
The church tries to keep God there, in their walls. We leave Him there until the next Sunday gathering. It seems sometimes that I am only identified as a Christian if I wear this cross. This piece of metal I carry. Why? I have questioned many times, "can I talk about God? I do not have my Bible! What if I do not say it like it is written?!"
Am I less of a follower if I do not go to church every Sunday and I do not flip open my bible everyday and I do not wear my cross? These things, these objects and places do not keep You! O, God, there is no one like you! 
A church cannot hold you, a cross cannot proclaim to the world, and the bible cannot keep you. We try to make you visible to see and understand. You are everything in me which is good. You are everywhere. You know me inside and out. We as Your children cannot hold you either. We can only embrace You. Experience You in this world until you make a new heaven and earth. I want to find you in places no one would think to look. I want to find you in the wars of this world. Go into the places of hatred and sorrow and find You. God is not kept in anything! He is just there. Everywhere, in every aspect of life, in all the good, bad and ugly. There is no boundaries on God. I don't really know what to think about all of this! God, in everything?, nothing is just me and me alone!? Nothing is kept from Him!? I cannot leave Him in a book, or keep Him in a tent. Nope, because no one is like the Lord. I want Him to heal me from my blindness so that I see Him as Almighty, not in these earthly forms. Stop trying to read Him and listen to others try to unfold Him. He is God. Nothing can unravel Him. I love the challenge though. The conversations with many....without verses and proof and Minister's controlling the path of our curiosity. I like just talking as if it is our first encounter with God, because then it is a silent prayer asking God to come into our conversations and teach us Him and His limitless knowledge.
I can't really put a conclusion to this, because then in this post I would be trying to keep Him.....and this is still developing.
Try to think of God in a more open way, without a lock and key after looking over a verse of hearing a sermon. Gain your own messy perspective and bring it before Him. Not through anyone else! and see what happens!