no author for my thoughts, only an illustrator

            A well spent vacation

  

"All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don't tiptoe."

Giving up a Verb

It is the time of Lent and each year I usually commit to giving up my straightener or social media or some other meaningless object or what most teenagers would say "Their Lifeline!," but for me this time around I was a little late choosing that one thing to give up and it came down to texting or television. I thought about it longer, I knew that none of that would challenge me... it would take some getting used to, but I wouldn't be learning anything about myself or things I need to work on, within myself.
I decided to give up something invisible, but something that I do far more often then texting of watching the telly. I judge others far too often. I thought for the longest time that it was alright to judge if it was kept to yourself, but it really isn't! Judging others makes you bitter, simple fact, because I know from experience that my face never smiles after I look down at someone!
And even judging someone in a positive way...it can quickly turn into jealousy and lust. So, I thought about giving up my judgment towards others and myself and it has been challenging so far. I didn't realize how much I looked at people with a mouthful to say. It is a pointless habit and deserves no attention. I feel more and more, free from a life of disappointment and anger, because I'm looking at God and wanting to be more like Him rather then the people I see around me.

Mark 2

This evening I went to a worship service at a church I am foreign too... it was incredible! Please all, read this very long collection of verse! What the pastor spoke of afterwards was beautiful.

Now after some days, when he returned to Capernaum, the news spread that he was at home. So many gathered that there was no longer any room, not even by the door, and he preached the word to them. Some people came bringing him a paralytic, carried by four of them. When they were not able to bring him in because of the crowd, they removed the roof above Jesus. Then, after tearing it out, they lowered the stretcher the paralytic was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Now some of the experts in the law were sitting there, turning these things over in their minds: "Why does this man speak this way? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?" Now immediately, when Jesus realized in his spirit that they were contemplating such thoughts, he said to them, "Why are you thinking such things in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Stand up, take your stretcher, and walk'? But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins," - he said to the paralytic - "I tell you, stand up, take your stretcher, and go home." And immediately the man stood up, took his stretcher, and went out in front of them all. They were all amazed and glorified God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"

 So, you made it through this.... There was a question being tossed around and I will repeat it now, "Who do you relate to in this story?" Some say Jesus, others say the paralytic man, or his friends lowering him down from the roof. But then he told us that his senior pastor said.... "I would be the home owner." The home owner isn't even mentioned in this story, not once. Then I thought about it more. I have never been a home owner, but one day I will be and I reckon it will be very hard and then after I am one, I would cherish my home and protect it. It would be my comfort, my sanctuary, my safety net. How would I or you feel if you invited Jesus, a great teacher into your home and then huge crowds of people gathered everywhere!! Probably knocking over things and helping themselves to the pantry, and yet you remain silent. Then, four men pull back the roof of your house, destroying it, to lower a sick man in the middle of what was probably your living room, right in front of Jesus. And still you remain silent. The home that you worked so hard for, is being invaded and destroyed and you don't say a word. Why? ...
This home owner was putting himself in discomfort so that a sick man could meet Jesus and be healed! That's pretty crazy if you ask me. He let his safety net fall so that one person could meet Jesus.
These four friends that were lowering this man to Jesus were so persistent so that this man could be healed. It's not like they tried to shout to Jesus from outside the house, or to wait outside to catch him after when he snuck out the back door, but they knew that he needed to meet Jesus right then! So they climb up on a roof, which would of been extremely hard, and they ripped a part a roof and lowered a man to Jesus. And Jesus doesn't even start off by healing the man's physical illness, but he says, "Son, your sins are forgiven." I think that these men knew that they're friend needed to meet Jesus. This man probably accepted the state he was in and was depressed and said to his friends, "I don't want you to take me any where!' But the men knew they had to, so they got him on a stretcher and probably traveled a long way through the desert, in sweat and discomfort, to presented him to Jesus and from that this broken man met this great Healer.
Sometimes when we think about a Christian's duties, we think that we have to create this perfect speech on a silver platter and  in our words intrigue others to God...but we aren't suppose to seal the deal with people and God, we are only suppose to set up the meeting! Does that make sense? We don't have to get others to buy the product, we just have to set up the conference. When we make ourselves last and show them Jesus and bring them to a meeting with God, He will do the rest! What we say doesn't matter, it could be the worse sermon or speech, and still God will use it for His work. We pull them along and bring them to Jesus, but remain silent and let God take it from there. So the challenge for us all listening and for you all reading is to choose someone that you feel deep down needs to meet Jesus and meet with God and then do whatever you need to do that is uncomfortable and without a safety net to get them to that meeting! To lower them from a roof and surrender them to the greatest Healer of Jesus.

Ruth

The biblical meaning to this name is friend. 
I knew of such a person. One who only searched for friendship and love, a girl who taught me a bit more about the meaning of friendship. This girl constantly forgot my name, but she never forgot my face, so I learned to stop reminding her. She made me frustrated bright and early in the morning when she refused to get up, but that quickly turned into a smirk when she finally rose. I rolled my eyes at night when she refused to settle for bed, but when she finally fell asleep I missed the noise. When there was a time for worship I would hold her still as she listened deeply to the sung after promises of our Father, and at dinner we would joke and break bread in community. We were an interesting bunch. We had our share of disagreements, but that turned into bigger hugs and deeper conversation. She always told me something was sore or unwell and this just made me go into denial with myself if I started to feel sick. Oh this darling girl made me smile even when I wanted to cry. Her silly angry bird stuffy always fell on my head and her comb and shampoo bottle always got left on my bunk. When I first met her she seemed to be a very quiet individual, but at the end of our time together, it was more of a lost hope. Her energy was incredible and her heart was so good.

This name is also a book in the Old Testament and within its pages there is a theme of how God's people experience his sovereignty, wisdom and covenant kindness. This young women had so much kindness and love and so did my friend. There lives of course were nothing alike, but the theme I saw in both their spirits is how I made this comparison.

And what made me appreciate my time with her so much more is that after it was over, I never got any word from her. She sort of just disappeared and life tried to overlap my memory of her. I started to forget. I preserve it more and more as I see a friend like her, in others whom I love so much and as I became a true friend to others. Abba blessed this girl with such a kindness and such a love. Two fruits of the Spirit which I treasure so much and I got to see, lived out in one of my precious sisters.

Is there such a place!

I went to church last Sunday and the sermon was amazing!! I haven't been to church in a while and it was a great one to hear and connect to. It was about Jesus and His life in Jerusalem. When His disciples came to Him and explained how He must leave because of the danger. And Jesus knew of this danger, but yet He remained there until His time was finished.

At that time, some Pharisees came up and said to Jesus, "Get away from here, because Herod wants to kill you." But he said to them, "Go and tell that fox, 'Look, I am casting out demons and performing healings today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will complete my work. Nevertheless I must go on my way today and tomorrow and the next day, because it is impossible that a prophet should be killed outside Jerusalem.' O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those who are sent to you! How often I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you would have none of it! Look, your house is forsaken! And I tell you, you will not see me until you say, 'Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!'"        {Luke 13:31-35} 

The Minister gave the congregation a short history lesson about the Jewish people and their strong connection and longing for Jerusalem.... how if you asked any of them around the world where that one place was to be closest to God, they would all say Jerusalem. And in fact if they were in that city, they would then say the temple of Jerusalem and if they were in this temple, it would be at the back where God's throne was in the Holy of Holies. They believed that God came down to earth and would stay there. But I am not going to say whether I believe that or not, but the raw history of this was so interesting and I started thinking, "is there such a place for me like that, where I go to seek God!" That was the question our Minister was getting to.
This temple had been destroyed in all the wars and so the Jewish people were in great sorrow. There was half a wall still standing from this temple, "The Wale in the Wall,"which then held a great importance to these people. They would write their prayers on parchment and slide them into this wall. They were broken and felt disconnected from God. Jesus went with the intention of showing the people that God was here to heal and create that connection again, but through His son. In this verse above, what really stuck out was what Jesus wanted to do with these people...to gather them like a hen gathers her chicks. And then He says, "Look, your house has fallen." But He has not fallen with it and those who allow Jesus will be blessed.
That is what is so amazing about Jesus! There isn't a location on this earth to go to be with God, we go through His Son. And He wants that, He wants to be that messenger, that go to guy. These verses show so much of Jesus' personality. His courage of going to a place where He knew some people would reject Him, and then staying there even after He knew there was danger for His life, all to show these people that God comes into our hearts, not an idolized temple.

Found the Cure!

School is hefty this semester and I have been taking every opportunity to relax and catch up on homework. I was starting to feel sluggish and felt there was something big missing from my life.... GOD! JESUS! I took a minute and tried to remember the last time I talked with God, the last time I picked up my bible, the last one on one jam session in worship. Here is the scary thing though...other then an evening prayer before bed, I haven't said a word to Abba, in such a long time, not even words unspoken, My bible, has a tiny layer of dust on it, granted that my room does get dusty, but still. And my i-pod has been dead in the bottom of my cottage bag for a few weeks now. I started thinking that with my busy schedule at school, which left me a little tired, I couldn't just add Him into this craziness, I know I wouldn't get anything out of that time and I would only want it to be over. I remembered something that I did at the end of every week that was so rejuvenating and wonderful. My Sabbath! On Sunday I rested, not on a sofa, or bed, but in God. It ends my week in a beautiful way and in a better state of mind and heart. After church I dance and celebrate and after lunch I pray and read, in the evening I go on adventures and walks with my Father and spend time with my family.

Trying to live without God, trying to avoid or forgetting for a while like I did made me feel sick. My life felt devoid of something very important. For those who don't know God may feel like they are always searching for something other then God. A thing to center them, when all that can be is God! I found the cure to my heart. I found Jesus and all that comes with Him, such joy and great peace. Grace and love. He sustains me and spending time with Him and letting Jesus intercede me, brings light and energy back to my life.

Joshua told the Israelites, "Come here and listen to the words of the Lord your God." 

clenched fists........

the moment when you have so much on your heart but cannot think of two words to put together to express this, never mind an entire sentence!!! It's a feeling of tongue tied, word suppressed, scatter brained, and falling apart while remaining entirely put together. I have never, ever experienced this! But I can recall the turning point when I got past my frustration and looked to God saying, "there is a time for everything and God I give You that time!" I needed a break, time to gather all my thoughts in the deepest part of me. To rest my noisy life in God and give control back to my Father. And I didn't put a time limit on this, and so now I feel able to write again...