Beauty & Beast in one

Why women should weight lift!

- Reduce your risk of Alzheimer's, improve cognitive function in elderly women
 - Endorphins make you happen, happy people don't shoot their husbands
  - Smarten up, Southern state Uni research proved strength training is associated with higher GPAs
   -  Decrease injury risk
    - Decrease osteoporosis risk, denser bones, less fragile
     - Zzzz... better sleep
      - Calm down! Stress relief, reduce irritability, anxiety
       - Burn more calories
        - Banish belly fat, weight lifting burns more deep belly fat then just cardio alone
         - Diabetes proof, causing muscles to use more glucose for energy which lowers blood sugar
          - 12 weeks of training can lower systolic & diastolic blood pressure
           - Heart disease, no thanks!! Body will be leaner, less fat, less risk
            - Open your own pickle jar, improved handgrip is a marker of overall strength
             - Confidence boost, one of the most empowering things a women can do
              - Protect your back, reg. strength training helps ease lower chronic back pain
              - Relieve neck, strengthening neck and shoulders reduces pain
             - improve balance
            - lower cholesterol, boost good cholesterol which combats against bad cholesterol
           - Breathe easy, improve max capacity to transport and use oxygen while exercise
          - Run faster, improve 5K by 3%
         - Boost libido, increase testosterone which boosts sex drive in females
        - Curb cravings, lower ghrelin levels, a hunger stimulating hormone found in the gut
       - Hit cancer hard! protect body against oxidative stress, believed to contribute to cancer
      - Boost metabolism, muscles builds up your metabolism, burn more longer after workout
     - Look sexy, help yourself build and preserve lean muscle, creates tight and toned bod
    - rid yourself of cellulite, diminish it
   - Stand tall, improves posture
  - Body image
 - Explore, reason to venture out of land of steppers, spin class & treadmill & go into the weight room

Banana Butt

In a few weeks I will be leaving quite a bit to enter into the unknown.
University.
Brochures, pamphlets, emails, websites, phone calls were what I saw of Trent. The life there, trying to grasp how I will fit among the crowd of busy students, all trying to make a name for themselves. Now I'll be fully submerged in the coming season.
Its pathetically true, but the one thing, the one living, glorious creature I will miss most of all is my Labrador-retriever Jessie.

She has white and blond eyelashes, doe brown eyes, the biggest fan tail and a plethora of names to fit every mood we're in. My little banana butt. The apple of my eye. It's very hard for me not to believe that an animal can have a soul. I swear she does.
These past weeks, she been giving me more and more attitude, I suspect she's gathered that I'll be leaving her soon.
One thing I love to do with this 6 year old beauty is get her outside, photograph her, capture her character. My companion. My buddy.

Here are some that I hope will be inspiring, but also show off my Jessie-girl ...

What to expect?

as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.

phil 1:20 

I remember a few years ago, looking at my friends, looking at magazines, filled with jealousy and envy. All I wanted was to look like those girls. I looked more like the boys, beefy, chubby, strong. Words like dainty, tiny, skinny, feather I wished could describe me, but that never happened. I thought there was something wrong with me. I'd ask my dad, "when will I start to look more feminine?" He'd smirk and say "just wait!" I boiled in disbelief.

 

I see myself differently now.

I'm tall and that worked to my advantage. I'm an upside down triangle, portioned to swim and run and lift heavy objects with joy and pleasure. Sixteen was my year for courage. To fold up self pity and tuck it away. I rolled up my sleeves and began a new shameless lifestyle. Belief in my body's power. Every temple is unique, some are made of limestone, marble, some are pointed, some are flat, inspire of Egyptians, Aztecs, Romans. Colorful, plain.

 

God desires our own acceptances for ourselves. We're critics of a perfect artist. We should be silent and admire and yet we degrade the art piece.

 

Challenge yourself to expect that God has given you this blueprint of your temple for a reason, for a gift to the world, for your eyes to behold and rejoice in.  

 

Many paths

Changing the name of this blog, my blog, little babe of a blog was difficult, but it now allows me to embrace a new direction it will be taking. I love many things. God, people, creation, empowerment, admiration for our beautiful temple-bodies, creativity and all other things I can put words to. I like words, letters forming words, sheers of gold, onto the lips to form speech. To read, to envision. To enjoy.

So I will be writing about my dreams, about powerlifting, about limits and trying to overcome them, about scripture, photographs, recipes, school. Every entry, different and messy.

//Here we go//

Fear-FULL Hope

I was thinking a lot about the book of Hosea, how it's collected a lot of dust in my life, so I opened it up and found hope.
 
6: 1-3 Hosea
 
^ I will write it out in a bit. The book had many curses & blessings. From what I gathered, God is telling the people of Israel through Hosea (Joshua) that another nation will destroy them. And after the fact, God will be able to bless Israel again. The beginning of their end happened when Israel was introduced to other gods as they fought with different nations. As kings came & went, Israel became smaller and broke their covenant with God.

Brokenness was poured into Israel. Humility sprouted. Faith was desired again.

God tells His people that He will bring them health, but first Israel must try to 'know' God.

Even though this book is old testament, I am humbled by it's story. I didn't live in the mid-8th century... Jesus has come, has died for me and so there isn't some guy telling my home town that God is going to punish us. Makes me wonder how beautiful the community could be if we lived as though that could be a reality. Not living in fear of God, but living fearfully in God. Get the difference? Sometimes I wonder if having Jesus thrown into the mix makes God's Might and judgment diminish.

Now there' s a question of why I found hope in this book, because if I'm living in 2015 and don't need to worry about God's wrath being unleased why would I relate to this?

" Come, let us return to the Lord;
for He has torn us, that He may heal us;
He has struck us down, and He will bind us up.
After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will raise us up,
that we may live before him. "

Hope because we all leave. We get torn. We get struck down! Except it's not God doing it to us now. It's this wide world, it's broken like Israel was. But when people return to God, they are healed and bound together again. He is telling me through this passage that he is the reviver of our lives. He is powerful enough to raise us up out of the mud of this world when it becomes too thick. He just wants us to keep coming back.

Living fearfully allows us to remain in hope. Israel lost that fear. People today, lose that fear.

" Let us know, let us press on to know the Lord,
his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers,
as the spring rains that water the earth. "

Consistent faith, like the sun rising and setting. Not being doubtful if the rain doesn't come for a while, it'll just stop all together. Faith that knowing God more, learning He comes in his time. He has a master plan to bless our lives. We just need to return to him. To fear.
 
Hosea reminds me of a verse I recently came across in Isaiah and I think it ties into what I am trying to say.

" I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord. "(66:9)

In these moments when we leave God's path & are struck, the pain we may find in our lives doesn't go without serving a purpose. God uses them to create something new for us. Just like God allowed Israel to be destroyed so that a new Israel could be born and blessed. A God fearing land. A beautiful nation. Just as we can live as God fearing people. Learning it's importance from this story. And finding hope in the power of God.

I hope this made sense. I really like Hosea.

Fill my cup to overflow.

another summer at camp. another season of service there.
this time was different, even with the understanding that nothing can occur the same twice, this summer at camp was particularly different. this was my first summer as a full-time staff member with all its great stresses, joys and responsibilities. on top of that i was solo leading which becomes tricky when you are taking care of 6 thirteen year old girls, not to mention the other girls that are in activities that you are leading. many times i lost my campers or "misplaced them" as i put it, but we always seemed to find each other again. up in the pioneer circle i stayed and took up home there for the next two weeks after arriving at the beginning of august. in those weeks i learnt so much from Holy Spirit. about Him and about His word and about our relationship together. and about service. i felt many times Him calling me into His presence for Him to be able to work in me and through me to both campers and other staff. the craziest experiences.

i think one of the major things ive learnt was about the verse from Matthew,

"The first shall be last and the last shall be first"[20:16].

that is what i am focusing on in this post.
i always looked at that message as a direct instruction to all of God's people, telling us that if we want to serve and be filled by Holy Spirit, we need to be last ALWAYS and allow others to be first before us. so that is how i had started to work this summer, forcing myself to be last in order to serve God and others in the [best] way.

i realized about 6 days into the first session that i was not filled enough myself to then serve others and fill them up. my own cup had not been filled to overflow. during a staff bible study, the directors mother, who lead the study, brought up this verse in her teaching and the imagery she exposed us to changed how i interpreted that passage. she told us to imagine a ladder, like many things that God does, He works in seasons, and so, like a cycle, or circle or servant hood, He calls us to be last at times [at the bottom of the ladder] so that we can serve others as our cups have been filled to overflow and we can use that fullness within us to uplift others [that strength]. then she told us that God also calls us into times of being first [at the top of the ladder], to allow others who are overflowing to uplift us and for us to be filled more and sustained by others and their service. then when we are filled we return to the bottom knowing that we may have to go back to the top again. this repeats. and that can look different to everyone. from this bible study i recognized that God was calling me to serve myself, to become first so that i could be filled by others who had received God through them to speak words of truth to me. i still served at the camp, but i allowed others to help me more then i had before in the session.

God uses us to fill each other until we overflow. until Holy Spirit spills over the lips of our cups, until we are quenched.

opinion.

So recently a rainbow stripe of road (crosswalks) have been painted down a main street in Toronto (Church st.). Some say for pride or awareness of the LGBT community but I believe it is doing two things only. Producing Toronto with more tourists and making a public spectacle out of LGBT. We as a community have taken this issue, a once anti-gay society and have become more respectful, understanding, kind and have provided a safer environment, but we’ve also taken this issue, this one thing and publicized it to such an extreme that it has lost its once powerful meaning to me. Why must we parade around Toronto, calling it a pride parade, wasting tax dollars to put on such a pseud and using even more money to paint a rainbow up a street? How does that make sense? But that has become the norm now with this ONE topic.

What if we did that with all our issues in history? All the ones that have been overcome, just like this one? What would our cities look like now? For slavery, if we hung nooses from lamp posts and trees as a constant reminder of where we’ve come, or if we plastered the streets with posters professing women’s rights and we had a separate booth for women to vote in during elections as a reminder… because that is what this rainbow road is, a reminder, a permanent reminder, but why is it necessary and why is it more important than all the other issues in history? It isn’t necessary to any degree, our day to day lives are the reminders of where we have come from. Every time we see a person apart of LGBT voting or parenting an adopted child or with a marriage license, those are all reminders enough! We have come very far as a people, just like when I see my black neighbours put up their Ghana flag and no one defaces their property, or my black friends and classmates who are able to sit next to me and not get beaten or harassed or how my mum was able to vote this past election OR my two close friends who are lesbian and bi-sexual were able to attend prom together without being kicked out, separated or alienated. None of these people have to continue to perform extreme acts to show that they have rights, they just go on with their day and that is enough.

After saying all of that I am not suggesting that gaining these rights was done so easily by just going on with your day. In history, drastic things were often the only way to gain respect and power, but now being 2014, already succeeding in providing a better space for everyone we still feel it’s necessary to paint on a rainbow! It’s overkill. It’s not an action for gaining acceptance, it’s just a symbol after the fact.

Now for those who are reading this and are questioning my part in all of it, freeze for a second and let me finish. I believe we as a unit of different orientations, races, religions, cultures, social classes, etc, are all ONE and that is an important fact for anyone to remember, and as for me, a heterosexual female, white, Christian, I am a constant ally to many varieties of people who are at all opposite to me, which doesn’t mean beneath, or undervalued, just opposite… like a Homosexual, male, Nepali, Muslim. However, going back to the rainbow road, it should not have been done. The rights of the LGBT were already fulfilled so this in no way was a form of protest, to try to accomplish something, it was just an act that wasted funds, an impulse. LGBT have rights! They can get married, have pensions and benefits, can adopt and are protected by the government from any anti-gay propaganda in Canada, etc.

As an ally I used my voice to explain to people how the LGBT need to be treated as equals that was the whole point! Now, as an ally I feel like a hypocrite to the LGBT. I say over and over “equal”, being “equal”, “equality is important”, but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. They have parades and flags and rainbow roads. How are all these extra things allowing the LGBT to be treated equally? I’ve asked some of my peers who are a part of the LGBT, what they think about the parades and the road. They say that they are more embarrassed NOW to say they are LGBT because they don’t want to associate their personal orientation and life choices with such unserious gimmicks. They said it is taking their “rights” too far. Being straight, if there was a parade for that, it would probably be seen as unneeded, stupid and laughable. Well… in an “equal” way, so would a gay pride parade and so would a rainbow road! If it isn’t looked at as that, are these two varieties of people really equal?!

joy makes us thankful

This week I decided to open myself up to the simple joys of living, thankfulness, and God. Here is a little post about some of those joys...

A misty morning, laughing fits with a friend, short conversations, a soft gentle snowfall, watching a movie with dad, making banana bread, silence... noise, crowds, solitude, seeing a squirrel play in a leaf pile, reading for fun, listening.

It became an easy thing to do, relating God to these little joys. I think He delights in them. He wants us to see these little things, to keep a watchful eye for all the joy around our lives. To soak it in. There are so many opportunities to say, "Gee God, I am so thankful for..." Sometimes we become coarse or distant from joy. I think it's because we blow it out of proportion and make joy some outrageous intangible emotion in everyday life. But it's a wonderfully uncomplicated  feeling. A perfectly simple expression.
And when we find joy in the little things and appreciate them all, we can fully give our gracious thanks to God.

Intrigued.

A few nights ago I was talking with a friend about a great nursing placement she did in Nepal recently. I asked her a bunch of questions and found out some pretty cool facts that I want to share with you all in this post...
In Nepal people eat 2 meals a day which mainly consist of rice and lentils. The main religion there is Hinduism and a few areas practice Buddhism. In the Hindu religion there are many festivals for their gods and that is when they sacrifice and eat their meats. Apparently a  lot of the population is quite short so my friend who is as tall as me, got asked on a few occasions why she was so tall! I thought that was funny.

One thing that I found most intriguing was a photo I saw from her travels. Here below is that photo.

I thought it was some kind of festive decoration, but it was much more then stringed fabric. On each piece is a prayer that someone had written and attached to the string line. The people there believe that when the wind blew, their prayers would be sent out to whichever god. The wind is their carrier. I thought that was absolutely beautiful.

I love learning about other religious practices because I can often more then not, take some of the basic ways they connect to a god and reflect it back on how I interact and practice my faith with my god. (I used the lowercase form "god", because mine is just that to anyone who is not a Christian, and in this post I want to be in equal respect to all religious views.)

Can you image the joy & serenity a person in Nepal would feel when the wind blew, just after hanging up their fabric prayer?! They may be working in the rice fields or stepping off a bus, hanging some laundry out on a line and a gust of wind ----- interrupts whatever had been happening before in their day and all they can think of in that moment is their fabric prayer being sent off. Most incredible.
I find I get a lot of my big ideas of ways to draw closer to my god by learning about other religions or from other people. It is so amazing some of the ways people go before their god or celebrate their god or bring things before their god. Some to this day I don't agree with, but a few are so captivating, I think to myself, "Why don't I do that with my god?" And why not?! I'm intrigued & I think my god is too.
I am glad my friend went to Nepal.

Who wears the pants?

All my life I have gone to school lectures and heard, "Be a leader of the school." "Lead your own life, don't let others lead it for you!" It gives the role of "following" such a stigma. Especially being a young woman of God, I find myself confused when I'm asked to control my path in life. The Son of God spent His life asking people to follow Him. To give up that control. Story to story, He calls upon people to follow, to leave their lives, leave their plans and go.

There's a short story in the book of Matthew; of Jesus walking up to a guy named Matthew (go figure) who was a tax collector, and called to him, "Follow me". So what does Matthew do, he leaves his booth, leaves it all and follows Jesus. Bam, another disciple of Jesus. I wish it was that simple now! But today we question too much and trust too little. Maybe not all the time, maybe only part-time, but it happens. Whether we say it out loud or think it in our deepest thoughts. Doubt happens. 

A word Jesus uttered to the people he encountered was akolouthei which means "come and follow". This word beckoned men and women to leave it all to follow. Another word for a disciple is a mathetais, meaning "learner". I don't always want to teach and lead like society wants, I want to learn and follow. This little while that has passed, I have felt Holy Spirit asking me to enter into a new relational context. 

I have entered into my final year of high school and for all my life I wanted to be this one thing, then God shook everything up and called me to something different. For me this involved a lot of adjustments and many extra-strength Tylenols. I was so tempted to take back the control on my life and lead it for myself, to go through with my old plans. It was easier and a safer plan, but then I thought about it a little more... I am not my own! I am a temple built by my Father and I am His, so surely my plans are not my own, but are His also. *Light bulb * when I follow Christ, He honors that submission. I want to be more like Matthew and I dream of a time when everyone will be like him. Be as willing, submissive to Holy Spirit, humble in following, because I think all Christian spirituality is, is letting God wear the pants in the relationship. 

Don't listen to what the world asks of you, but listen and ask for God to tell you what He wants with you! He will use you for His great works. Listen for Him calling, akolouthei, akolouthei. 
Who is wearing the pants in your relationship?

a new season afoot !

The passage that has been on my heart this summer is in the book of Ecclesiastes and in the month I was away from home, God brought it to life.

My summer was spent up north on the shores of Lake Clearwater. There I was a chalet leader for the first time. I was filled with incredible experiences, some more bizarre then others, like, getting concussed, eating about 5 apples a day (and still getting sick), playing some hardcore manhunt, teaching archery, painting myself head-to-toe red, walking up to a camper in the dark (who I thought was a staff member) and telling her my feet really stink, and other fun things. 

I also saw Jesus pushing me right out of my comfort zone and into His light. Into a better way of living and being with Him. Not lingering on each experience or pondering the next, but being willing to enter a new at the close of an old. 
Some other things that happened... being asked by one of my campers if I could pray for her as I helped her down to the nurse's station, asking a dozen people a day if they could pray for me (whether they knew me or not), seeing The Messiah in worship and rejoicing fully without wondering who may look at me, sprinting down to the dining hall to save a table for my chalet no matter how ridiculous I looked with my arms flailing, being honest with people, being so honest in situations and how I felt, putting myself last, surrendering to Abba, reaffirming each day my true identity, seeking guidance, letting Abba be seen more then myself, struggling but still finding hope, being in pain but still choosing to trust, being vulnerable for Christ to work in me while being very broken, and allowing love to consume me.

SO many amazing and life altering things and they all had their own time.
I have a deeper instinct for Spirit and where He calls me next. He called me to this camp, He also called me to a church in Huntsville when I was on my day off, He called me to go home for a day, He called me back to the camp again, and now He calls me back into school.
I've learnt that all things have their season and if we try to extend it, they just fade and wither and lose they`re beauty. Staying at camp and playing manhunt every night would be so much fun at first, but after a while it would become boring. Being in worship with that community wouldn't ever lose it`s power, but I would never have the same longing for it because I wouldn't of had a chance to miss it. 

"There`s a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."

Savor your food

"What day is it?"
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.

I am a big planner, I like knowing where I'm going next. Camp is a big one, so it creates a lot of anticipation. The minute summer commenced, I was up in my room thinking about all the unimportant stuff, clothes to take, photos to print, shoes that match and toiletries to last. I have learnt that anticipation can take away...
It speeds up time, it prevents other memories from existing.
All the time in wait for this one event can take away any reason to be glad for the present.

It has been a huge challenge for me to resist the long stage of packing and the endless moments lost, thinking about camp. I recall when I was small and sometimes now at dinner, my mom and I would be eating and I would finish much faster then her. She'd look at me and say that it was healthier to eat slowly, chew, swallow, process the tastes, textures and not be out of breath by the end of the meal. haha.
I can relate that to now, I had to slow my rollers, sit down and think about other stuff besides camp (which was like pulling teeth at first). There is great value in excitement, but only when it doesn't neglect the present. Today is sunny with some wind and clouds floating around, the trees are dusty green from the city blowing into them, my dog is laying on my lap, and my teeth hurt a bit from an orange I just ate. What is so great with today is that I will never have today again! It's all it is, right now, and each moment following until my head hits my pillow. So why think about camp now, or then or a month ago?! That time will come and no other time will be like then.
Today is my favorite day.

I will praise you in this storm

I said good-bye to my sunny days of Spring under the willow tree.
Our first lightning storm of the season erupted and it was incredible. I gathered my bedding and my pock-a-dot pillow and knelt snuggled against my large opened window. I stared at the dark pink sky with intensified eyes. It was going on eleven when the rain came. In sheets and blankets of water. I heard the thunder race across the now orange sky. I heard the rain pelt against my little rooftop. My curiosity kept tempting me to climb on my roof, but logic kicked in and I stayed put. As my arms dangled out my window I saw giant bolts strike the sky and ignite the world. It was going on midnight, but I couldn't pull myself away from the window. I was a little child again. I couldn't stop staring because I was convinced that any second something remarkable would happen. I couldn't miss it. I couldn't! If I looked away, it would happen and I would miss it! I remember when I thought thunder was angels bowling and lightning was simply magic, not just thunder as electricity that vibrates through the air, or lightning being an expansion of rapidly heated air. No, I had a childlike wonder.

When I was little I thought the saying, "fear God," meant fear Him, tremble like He will hurt me! I remember looking at the sky and being scared, wondering if one strike would hit me...if the angels would miss and a bowling ball would fall right on top of me. I do fear God, but not with terror, with praise. Fearing God means having such a reverence (deep respect) for Him that it has a great impact on the way we live our lives.

During the night, when thunder was so loud my house shook, and the light so bright that it could of been day, I praised my feared God, I praised Him in this storm.

Then I woke up on the floor of course.

Gone Fishing.

Today I went out and got my first tattoo. I had been planning on getting this for 3 years and finally did it! Here on my foot is a fish, that has many different meanings to me.
The history of the Christian faith is a history with such beauty and trust in Jehovah. In the time of the first Christians, there was a lot of war and murder and brokenness, but the strength of God provided these people with the ability to trust Him. To trust that their love for God would save them. Even though many were being persecuted by the Romans, they persisted to meet secretly for communion and worship. In order to do this they created a special sign, the Jesus fish. Two people or two groups of people would meet and one would draw the first arc in the dirt and if the other was too a Christian he would draw the other arc forming this fish.
Now, I didn't get a tattoo just because I like history that much! But I got it because it reminds me of the courage they had, to do whatever they had to, to come together and worship their One God. I am so blessed to live in a time and a country that allows such diversity and allows me to worship and pray and express my passion for Christ under my own terms, and it gets me thinking everyday whether I would be able and willing to still do that, if it was my own life being threatened.

I call myself a follower of Jesus. I look everyday to follow Him and what God is calling me to be and do. That is something so important and also so hard to do. I think about the fishermen that Jesus encountered. He told them,

"Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."

And they did, not knowing what would happen next. His disciples were ready to give up and sacrifice every bit they possessed in order to follow Jesus. I live in a world of possessions and greed. A time that I hope I can say in past tense some day. All I want is to follow. To be the last of the pack, where everyone in front blocks my view and I have to wave my arms and jump up and down to be seen. Then... at the end of the day, to be approached and told that my desperation to get a glimpse of Him is all He wants and longs to see in all His children. I want to remember each day, that nothing of this world amounts to eternity with God, not a thousand years or the greatest hour.
I chose to put this fish on my foot because it reminds me of
"The footprints in the sand." 

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord,

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, 

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low period of my life,

when I was suffering from 

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

By  Mary Stevenson

I remember that in times of hurt and destruction, God is so powerful and will hold me close and place my feet on solid rock once more. 

All this wrapped up in a tattoo the size of a roll of quarters. Wowza! But even an ink engraved thing is nothing compared to God and all His majesty and even having a permanent reminder on a body part, doesn't distract me from looking first to God and not through something else. 

All this was quite an experience!! 

Springing with Joy

In less then one hour it will be the season of new creation! Of fresh buds, misty mornings, longer days and RAIN!!!!! I love the rain!!! There is something so pure and so refining as rain. I wrote a while back in a post about this and I said that while the rain was pelting down on everyone else, I felt like it was shining on me. My own liquid sunshine. 

Spring is the time of year when I was born, and I believe that is why I feel so connected to God through a great downfall of fresh water. 

I want to share a few near perfect memories I have in the rain... When I was a young girl, me and my dad would go up north to our cottage for the weekend in the Spring time. For every storm that came through we would head down to the docks and link arms and swirl into the water. We would do this as the thunder pounded across the sky and the lightening was still unseen, then that first bolt would send us out of the waters, but I would keep dancing around on the docks. 

Another wondrous memory I have of the rain is up at camp this past summer. There hadn't been any rain all summer and the camp was really suffering from it. Or at least I was! Then near the end of August giant gray clouds swept across the camp and thunder's powerful voice grew as did the voices of all my friends there. It was bible study at the time, but no bibles were open, only people outside, only arms embracing the drops of rain and only palms facing heavenward reaching for Abba. It was quite a sight to behold.

We were springing with joy to our Mighty God. 

Oh Spring, shower down on us.

no author for my thoughts, only an illustrator

            A well spent vacation

  

"All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don't tiptoe."

Giving up a Verb

It is the time of Lent and each year I usually commit to giving up my straightener or social media or some other meaningless object or what most teenagers would say "Their Lifeline!," but for me this time around I was a little late choosing that one thing to give up and it came down to texting or television. I thought about it longer, I knew that none of that would challenge me... it would take some getting used to, but I wouldn't be learning anything about myself or things I need to work on, within myself.
I decided to give up something invisible, but something that I do far more often then texting of watching the telly. I judge others far too often. I thought for the longest time that it was alright to judge if it was kept to yourself, but it really isn't! Judging others makes you bitter, simple fact, because I know from experience that my face never smiles after I look down at someone!
And even judging someone in a positive way...it can quickly turn into jealousy and lust. So, I thought about giving up my judgment towards others and myself and it has been challenging so far. I didn't realize how much I looked at people with a mouthful to say. It is a pointless habit and deserves no attention. I feel more and more, free from a life of disappointment and anger, because I'm looking at God and wanting to be more like Him rather then the people I see around me.

Mark 2

This evening I went to a worship service at a church I am foreign too... it was incredible! Please all, read this very long collection of verse! What the pastor spoke of afterwards was beautiful.

Now after some days, when he returned to Capernaum, the news spread that he was at home. So many gathered that there was no longer any room, not even by the door, and he preached the word to them. Some people came bringing him a paralytic, carried by four of them. When they were not able to bring him in because of the crowd, they removed the roof above Jesus. Then, after tearing it out, they lowered the stretcher the paralytic was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Now some of the experts in the law were sitting there, turning these things over in their minds: "Why does this man speak this way? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?" Now immediately, when Jesus realized in his spirit that they were contemplating such thoughts, he said to them, "Why are you thinking such things in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Stand up, take your stretcher, and walk'? But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins," - he said to the paralytic - "I tell you, stand up, take your stretcher, and go home." And immediately the man stood up, took his stretcher, and went out in front of them all. They were all amazed and glorified God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"

 So, you made it through this.... There was a question being tossed around and I will repeat it now, "Who do you relate to in this story?" Some say Jesus, others say the paralytic man, or his friends lowering him down from the roof. But then he told us that his senior pastor said.... "I would be the home owner." The home owner isn't even mentioned in this story, not once. Then I thought about it more. I have never been a home owner, but one day I will be and I reckon it will be very hard and then after I am one, I would cherish my home and protect it. It would be my comfort, my sanctuary, my safety net. How would I or you feel if you invited Jesus, a great teacher into your home and then huge crowds of people gathered everywhere!! Probably knocking over things and helping themselves to the pantry, and yet you remain silent. Then, four men pull back the roof of your house, destroying it, to lower a sick man in the middle of what was probably your living room, right in front of Jesus. And still you remain silent. The home that you worked so hard for, is being invaded and destroyed and you don't say a word. Why? ...
This home owner was putting himself in discomfort so that a sick man could meet Jesus and be healed! That's pretty crazy if you ask me. He let his safety net fall so that one person could meet Jesus.
These four friends that were lowering this man to Jesus were so persistent so that this man could be healed. It's not like they tried to shout to Jesus from outside the house, or to wait outside to catch him after when he snuck out the back door, but they knew that he needed to meet Jesus right then! So they climb up on a roof, which would of been extremely hard, and they ripped a part a roof and lowered a man to Jesus. And Jesus doesn't even start off by healing the man's physical illness, but he says, "Son, your sins are forgiven." I think that these men knew that they're friend needed to meet Jesus. This man probably accepted the state he was in and was depressed and said to his friends, "I don't want you to take me any where!' But the men knew they had to, so they got him on a stretcher and probably traveled a long way through the desert, in sweat and discomfort, to presented him to Jesus and from that this broken man met this great Healer.
Sometimes when we think about a Christian's duties, we think that we have to create this perfect speech on a silver platter and  in our words intrigue others to God...but we aren't suppose to seal the deal with people and God, we are only suppose to set up the meeting! Does that make sense? We don't have to get others to buy the product, we just have to set up the conference. When we make ourselves last and show them Jesus and bring them to a meeting with God, He will do the rest! What we say doesn't matter, it could be the worse sermon or speech, and still God will use it for His work. We pull them along and bring them to Jesus, but remain silent and let God take it from there. So the challenge for us all listening and for you all reading is to choose someone that you feel deep down needs to meet Jesus and meet with God and then do whatever you need to do that is uncomfortable and without a safety net to get them to that meeting! To lower them from a roof and surrender them to the greatest Healer of Jesus.

Ruth

The biblical meaning to this name is friend. 
I knew of such a person. One who only searched for friendship and love, a girl who taught me a bit more about the meaning of friendship. This girl constantly forgot my name, but she never forgot my face, so I learned to stop reminding her. She made me frustrated bright and early in the morning when she refused to get up, but that quickly turned into a smirk when she finally rose. I rolled my eyes at night when she refused to settle for bed, but when she finally fell asleep I missed the noise. When there was a time for worship I would hold her still as she listened deeply to the sung after promises of our Father, and at dinner we would joke and break bread in community. We were an interesting bunch. We had our share of disagreements, but that turned into bigger hugs and deeper conversation. She always told me something was sore or unwell and this just made me go into denial with myself if I started to feel sick. Oh this darling girl made me smile even when I wanted to cry. Her silly angry bird stuffy always fell on my head and her comb and shampoo bottle always got left on my bunk. When I first met her she seemed to be a very quiet individual, but at the end of our time together, it was more of a lost hope. Her energy was incredible and her heart was so good.

This name is also a book in the Old Testament and within its pages there is a theme of how God's people experience his sovereignty, wisdom and covenant kindness. This young women had so much kindness and love and so did my friend. There lives of course were nothing alike, but the theme I saw in both their spirits is how I made this comparison.

And what made me appreciate my time with her so much more is that after it was over, I never got any word from her. She sort of just disappeared and life tried to overlap my memory of her. I started to forget. I preserve it more and more as I see a friend like her, in others whom I love so much and as I became a true friend to others. Abba blessed this girl with such a kindness and such a love. Two fruits of the Spirit which I treasure so much and I got to see, lived out in one of my precious sisters.

Is there such a place!

I went to church last Sunday and the sermon was amazing!! I haven't been to church in a while and it was a great one to hear and connect to. It was about Jesus and His life in Jerusalem. When His disciples came to Him and explained how He must leave because of the danger. And Jesus knew of this danger, but yet He remained there until His time was finished.

At that time, some Pharisees came up and said to Jesus, "Get away from here, because Herod wants to kill you." But he said to them, "Go and tell that fox, 'Look, I am casting out demons and performing healings today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will complete my work. Nevertheless I must go on my way today and tomorrow and the next day, because it is impossible that a prophet should be killed outside Jerusalem.' O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those who are sent to you! How often I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you would have none of it! Look, your house is forsaken! And I tell you, you will not see me until you say, 'Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!'"        {Luke 13:31-35} 

The Minister gave the congregation a short history lesson about the Jewish people and their strong connection and longing for Jerusalem.... how if you asked any of them around the world where that one place was to be closest to God, they would all say Jerusalem. And in fact if they were in that city, they would then say the temple of Jerusalem and if they were in this temple, it would be at the back where God's throne was in the Holy of Holies. They believed that God came down to earth and would stay there. But I am not going to say whether I believe that or not, but the raw history of this was so interesting and I started thinking, "is there such a place for me like that, where I go to seek God!" That was the question our Minister was getting to.
This temple had been destroyed in all the wars and so the Jewish people were in great sorrow. There was half a wall still standing from this temple, "The Wale in the Wall,"which then held a great importance to these people. They would write their prayers on parchment and slide them into this wall. They were broken and felt disconnected from God. Jesus went with the intention of showing the people that God was here to heal and create that connection again, but through His son. In this verse above, what really stuck out was what Jesus wanted to do with these people...to gather them like a hen gathers her chicks. And then He says, "Look, your house has fallen." But He has not fallen with it and those who allow Jesus will be blessed.
That is what is so amazing about Jesus! There isn't a location on this earth to go to be with God, we go through His Son. And He wants that, He wants to be that messenger, that go to guy. These verses show so much of Jesus' personality. His courage of going to a place where He knew some people would reject Him, and then staying there even after He knew there was danger for His life, all to show these people that God comes into our hearts, not an idolized temple.