this time was different, even with the understanding that nothing can occur the same twice, this summer at camp was particularly different. this was my first summer as a full-time staff member with all its great stresses, joys and responsibilities. on top of that i was solo leading which becomes tricky when you are taking care of 6 thirteen year old girls, not to mention the other girls that are in activities that you are leading. many times i lost my campers or "misplaced them" as i put it, but we always seemed to find each other again. up in the pioneer circle i stayed and took up home there for the next two weeks after arriving at the beginning of august. in those weeks i learnt so much from Holy Spirit. about Him and about His word and about our relationship together. and about service. i felt many times Him calling me into His presence for Him to be able to work in me and through me to both campers and other staff. the craziest experiences.
i think one of the major things ive learnt was about the verse from Matthew,
"The first shall be last and the last shall be first"[20:16].that is what i am focusing on in this post.
i always looked at that message as a direct instruction to all of God's people, telling us that if we want to serve and be filled by Holy Spirit, we need to be last ALWAYS and allow others to be first before us. so that is how i had started to work this summer, forcing myself to be last in order to serve God and others in the [best] way.
i realized about 6 days into the first session that i was not filled enough myself to then serve others and fill them up. my own cup had not been filled to overflow. during a staff bible study, the directors mother, who lead the study, brought up this verse in her teaching and the imagery she exposed us to changed how i interpreted that passage. she told us to imagine a ladder, like many things that God does, He works in seasons, and so, like a cycle, or circle or servant hood, He calls us to be last at times [at the bottom of the ladder] so that we can serve others as our cups have been filled to overflow and we can use that fullness within us to uplift others [that strength]. then she told us that God also calls us into times of being first [at the top of the ladder], to allow others who are overflowing to uplift us and for us to be filled more and sustained by others and their service. then when we are filled we return to the bottom knowing that we may have to go back to the top again. this repeats. and that can look different to everyone. from this bible study i recognized that God was calling me to serve myself, to become first so that i could be filled by others who had received God through them to speak words of truth to me. i still served at the camp, but i allowed others to help me more then i had before in the session.
God uses us to fill each other until we overflow. until Holy Spirit spills over the lips of our cups, until we are quenched.
